Think about the things that you prioritize in life, your key personality traits, and even your goals. Now, think about where they came from. Sure, everyone is inherently unique and has aspects of their person and life that originate completely from them, but many – if not most – behaviors have at least been influenced by their parents. It’s nuture versus nature, and sometimes, nurture completely overrides nature. So when you become a parent, it’s super important to take a close look at how you behave and what you prioritize. I urge you to take a look at how you are modeling values for your kids, because it’s much easier to reroute your path early on rather than try to detour later.

After all, kids are sponges and WILL follow in your footsteps. They’re so malleable right now. Let’s take action as soon as possible before some less desirable behaviors get set in stone!

How We Model Success for Our Girls

When young couples think about bringing kids into the world, there are often sentiments of concern and guilt because our world isn’t always very nice to us. We worry that it’s “unjust” to subject new people to an already screwed up society, especially for young girls. Of course, it worries us, too. But we have a plan in place.

Larry and I are blessed to have such sweet, strong girls to raise. When I first got pregnant, I started to take a deep look at what my current path would communicate to my babies. Slaving away at a dead-end job in an office that probably wasn’t even up to code – an infringement on human rights, honestly – wasn’t really the right message to send. Year after year, not valuing myself enough to quit and get paid what I was truly worth in a job with real growth potential… is that what I wanted my little girls to see?

Absolutely not. If I wanted my babies to grow up strong, independent, full of self-worth, and raging against the limitations that others tried to put on them, I had to model that for them. I had to be their strong independent mom, full of self-worth, who raged against limitations, too.

Suddenly, I found my “why.” I quit my job and took the biggest leap of faith ever: I started my own business. In only two years, I have so much to look back on and be proud of. That’s what I want my babies to see, and that’s how I want them to tackle their life as they grow.

Valuing Happiness and Health Above All Else

Having such a strong “reason why” every day makes me endlessly passionate and innovative. My mind is always going, my body is always moving, and sleep is often just a blip on my radar. I’m doing all this to model success for my babies, but what does it say to them about happiness and health? Am I communicating to them that success is more important than slowing down, taking a breath, checking in with yourself, and using the time and money you’ve earned with hard work to actually enjoy your life?

While I think it’s so important to show my babies that success comes from all this work to an extent, I always want to emphasize that success is ACTUALLY when you create a life where you can enjoy life. What’s the point in all these endless hours, sleepless nights, and stressful last-minute projects if it never amounts to anything?

To show my babies that success, happiness, and health can all coexist – and really, actually, cannot exist without each other – I schedule self-care and quality time into my calendar. Yes, I create actual space in my actual calendar, setting health and happiness in my life as real appointments. This is absolutely necessary in such a busy life, where health and happiness often get put on the back burner, replaced by “more urgent, important” things.

That Leads Me to My Next Point… Love

Of all the values and behaviors that psychologists and therapists will dig into during sessions, how you communicate and receive love is probably on the top of the list. Humans just cannot exist without love, but they also can’t thrive with unhealthy love. Modeling values for your kids to show what healthy, present love looks like helps them understand what to look for and how to act when they get older.

What I mean is this: If you are constantly ignoring your partner, not meeting their needs according to their love language, and dismissing their complaints when they voice them, your kids will just think that’s normal. They will go on to seek partners who do the same to them, and they might offer that same behavior to others. Of course, this is just an example. Any type of love you show in your relationship with your spouse, your family, and your friends will all be examples that your kids carry with them through life.

My husband and I are extremely busy people. We understand what it’s like to struggle with that “roommate” type of behavior when our schedules don’t line up or we can’t take time off. We actively fight against this by scheduling in time for each other, by making it a habit to check in, reflect, and discuss important topics no matter how busy we are. It keeps our relationship alive, yes, but it also models what true love looks like to our babies.

Modeling Values for Your Kids Now Will Pay Off Ten-fold Later

As a fellow mom-preneur, I get it. We all are constantly working on ourselves personally and professionally. We juggle a million balls, and yet we are still dropping more. We’re always feeling like we’re one step behind, always comparing ourselves to others, always feeling like a failure or imposter. So I get that hearing you need to add another thing to your plate is stressful. But hear me out: if you don’t work on this, what will all the other work be for? Will it amount to anything worthwhile?

Modeling values for your kids will actually improve your own quality of life, too. I promise. You’ll keep learning about yourself, keep growing, and improve your enjoyment of life overall.

I’m here to support you 100%. Please get yourself on The Lysst, and check out my Making Mommy Moves Show if you haven’t yet. You’ll be able to hear about the tips and tricks I use every day that make juggling this whole life thing so much easier!

Talk soon!

XX – Lyss