There comes a time in every working mama’s life when intrusive thoughts turn into deep working mom guilt and shame. Am I being selfish for wanting to have a career when I have little ones at home who need me? Is it right of me to want an identity outside of being a mom? Is my hard work right now really leading to something great for me and my family, or just robbing everyone of family time?

If you have these thoughts or any that sound like them at all, I hope you realize you aren’t alone. It is a harsh reality that you have to sacrifice time with your babies in order to make money or build a business. Of course, the end result of your hard work and sacrifice will absolutely be amazing, but it’s still important to keep things in perspective. So, is it worth it?

My Journey With Working Mom Guilt

I know that many entrepreneurial mamas come to my blog or podcast to get inspired, hyped up, and excited to build businesses. It might not be comfortable or fun to face a reality like working mom guilt in a place where you come to be inspired — I get it. But it’s so important for us to be honest and open because isolation with these intrusive thoughts and harmful mindsets is not only depressing but dangerous to many women. In honor of everyone out there that feels this way, I’m sharing my story.

I’m coming out of our busiest season of the year with our wedding floral design business Garden In The Pines. Now that the dust is beginning to settle, I’m starting to reflect on how much I did not see my kids. It’s truly heartbreaking to think about the hours lost, the opportunities not taken, and the memories not made all because my husband and I were slaving away at our work. It was the most guilt-ridden experience of my life working toward building a successful business when that meant I didn’t get to see my kids before bedtime, before school, and even on weekends.

What Does It Really Mean To Put Your Family Above Yourself?

It almost feels like my priorities are backward. Shouldn’t I, as a mom, put my kids above all else? While this is definitely the gut reaction for most people, I think it’s important to dig a little deeper. What does it really mean to put your kids first?

Society’s “ideal mom” is a woman who can juggle literally everything with a smile on her face. She can spend the perfect amount of time both working towards a career and raising her children with no need for help from anyone else. She can pack healthy, exciting lunches every night, drop off and pick up her kids on time from school or daycare, and can function with absolute perfection on the smallest amount of sleep and caffeine imaginable.

Now, when we say it out loud, isn’t it ridiculous? How can we possibly set that expectation for ourselves and expect to reach it? How is it healthy for our bodies or our brains to try to always be achieving this level of motherhood? It is ridiculous, we shouldn’t set this goal, and it is very unhealthy when we try.

Yes, I often feel guilty and like my priorities are backward, but I shouldn’t. I know that what I’m doing now is what I have to do to make our dreams happen for my family, and for our vision to become our real future. To put our family above ourselves is ACTUALLY to keep working towards our dreams and investing in self care too. Our families can’t make it unless we are feeling good and meeting our goals.

How To Fight Working Mom Guilt

I’m all about setting goals, fighting limiting mindsets, and using mantras to push through the challenges of being a working mom. I have a whole other blog on all that and more that you can read here. But I just wanted to remind you here before you go that you should never be ashamed of your hard work. You wouldn’t be doing what you’re doing unless you knew it would bring amazing things for your family.

No matter what path you choose, you’ll always have “shoulda coulda woulda” thoughts lurking in the back of your mind. Keep doing what you have to and keep fighting to reach those goals. Your family is so proud of you, and I am, too.

If you need some regular advice, tips, and support, please get yourself on The LYSST and check out my Making Mommy Moves podcast. I can’t wait to welcome you into our community if you haven’t signed up already!

Talk soon!

XX – Lyss