Self sabotage is when we do things that hold us back from reaching our goals. It can be something as small as procrastinating on a project or as big as quitting a job. Most of the time, self sabotage is fueled by fear. We may be afraid of failure, or of success. We may be afraid of change, or of staying the same. Whatever the case may be, self sabotage is toxic. It keeps us from moving forward, and it can have a major impact on our mental and emotional health. If you find yourself self sabotaging, it’s important to take action. Talk to a therapist or counselor, and try to identify the root cause of your fear. Once you understand what’s driving your self sabotage, you can start to work on making positive changes in your life.

Today`s Goal and Note:

• Self-sabotage comes in many forms.
• What do you think when you hear self-sabotage?
• How to get back into the swing of things when you lose the momentum.
• Take note of the things you are trying to sabotage and the ways that you are sabotaging it.
• What’s something we can do to make our lives better?

RESOURCES

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• Get advice and other tools at www.lyssmorton.com/coaching
• HoneyBook– CRM system I use DAILY in my floral design business, totally helpful delegation!

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Episode Transcript

Alyssa: Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of The Making Mommy Move Show. I got my, my sweet boy, here with us today. You all know Larry and we are going to be talking about self sabotage today. Cuz that’s a good, that’s a good one. Yeah, I think we have fun with that one. All right, so let’s dive in. Or what do you think when you hear self sabotage?

Larry: Going back to bad habits? Like more bad places, bad situations?

Alyssa: Oh, I like that. Yeah. Could also be mindset thing where you intentionally don’t do what’s gonna move the needle.

Larry: Yeah. Yeah. Being afraid on the inside. about things that things

Alyssa: Yeah.

Larry: That’s how I feel now. Because I am officially done with a nine to five.

Alyssa: Yes, it’s really exciting. scary as hell but really, really exciting. 

Larry: When picked up the last of my things this morning from my old job. And son nerving. To know that, like, there’s no going back. But there’s nothing to go back to. Because it was a really crappy place.

Alyssa: Yeah, really bad. It just like solidified our decision that much further. I’m so excited about that last week, all week, he kept saying feels like I’m on vacation, even though we were being more productive than we’ve ever been. And we’ve got more work than we’ve ever had, like preservation wise for their flower business with stripes. We just booked another one this morning, for this weekend. And one day of strike is more than a week’s paycheck. We have as nine to five

Larry: Yeah, for me to put in eight hours, not even six hours worth of work, yeah, to make what I would make and 60. But the self sabotage tells you that work is safe. And that going to your nine to five is the right thing to do. Because that’s what we’re told to do. When you get a real job. Like, do you think it’s secure, but it’s really not? No, because they could sell right out from under you. You can get fired and replaced in the same day. There’s there’s no security in a nine to five, none, just knowing that the building will still be there in the morning.

Alyssa: I like that. I like where you’re going with that. You can also even think about self sabotage when it comes to working out eating nutritionally financially, going back to old spending habits, something we are always trying to work on.

Larry: Yeah, because we’re that’s a habit cycle that we struggle to break is spending. Yeah, but no, it’s self sabotage comes in many forms. For sure.

Alyssa: I want to invite you guys to ask yourselves, what you’re doing that is kind of toxic to yourself, in the sense of either financially, emotionally, physically wise, and your business and your home life, I want you to just like take a mental note of it. So for us, like the things that come to mind are financially credit cards, we are toxic with our credit cards, something else that comes to mind is working out and eating nutritionally.

Larry: Yes. Because we don’t do either of those things. Yeah, well,

Alyssa: not just that, but like when we do it is immediate, that we break the habit. Yeah, so we’ll be good for a week like nutritionally eating right, and then we have to go get ice cream. And then when we are eating it, like mid eating, it’s like, Man, I should have this like, once they emotionally Yeah, moving like the needle in any way, shape, or form. And then like grabbing your phone to like sabotage the I want to say the impact or making towards your goal.

Larry: Yeah, you’re sabotaging your own time. I’m really bad at that. We’re gonna be on a roll for like an hour or two, you get a whole lot of stuff done. You want to keep the ball rolling, you’re like, Oh, let me check my social media. And then 45 minutes goes by and you’re like, what was I even doing? Or you lose the momentum? Yeah, and then try you try to get back into the swing is gone.

Alyssa: Yeah, something that I’ve been doing a lot. Lately, I’ve been working really hard to carve out intentional time every day to work on my book. And something that I’ve been doing is I’ve been putting my phone on Do Not Disturb and then I throw it across the room. Because I know like out of habit, my hand just reaches for it. And then I’m on Instagram or Tik Tok, or my email or whatever it is. So I’ll open up a full screen on my computer so that I’m able to not see any notifications pop up. And then I throw my phone across the room so that I’m able to dedicate specific, intentional time to me and my book. And that’s been a game changer in anything that I’m trying to work on my book and planning and creating recipes for my gardens, pines clients for whatever we’re working on. So I recommend that you try that I’ve tried

Larry:  the same kind of similar thing whenever I’m doing like a preservation order or something like that, as I’ll put on some music or like a podcast or something and put my phone like in another room and just kind of focus on what I’m doing because if I have it with me, there’s like a couple minutes of downtime in between steps and I’ll pick up my phone i’ll be on After 10 minutes, I’m like, Oh, crap, I gotta keep doing what I’m doing because it’s kind of time sensitive with the epoxy hardening as you’re working with it and stuff. So it’s a hard mental thing to wrap your head around and to get hold of. But I

Alyssa: I think it’s important to like at least take note of the things that you are trying to sabotage and the ways that you’re sabotaging it, because then you can take action to prevent it from happening. So like knowing yourself so well that it’s like, okay, I know that if my phone is right next to me, while I’m working on the computer, I’m going to pick up my phone while I’m mid task when I shouldn’t be. So taking the action thrown across the room to leave it in a different room, whatever you’re trying to do to prevent that from happening. So you can stay in the flow. Even we’re like working out or nutritionally like

Larry: nutritionally like meal prep. We’re bad with like having soda in the house. Yes. And we know it. We know it’s not there for you and me out anyway. Yeah, go to the store, Hey, pick up a case of Pepsi while you’re there. And just to know, like, alright, this will be the last case and then we’re not gonna get anymore. And then one of us comes home with a case. Yeah. All right. This will be the last case. And it just is kind of ongoing. We both know it’s a problem. And we have self sabotage. Yes.

Alyssa: Right in the forefront of our life. So like, what’s something that we could do to make that better to intentionally I would say no, by it.

Larry: that’s the biggest thing we could do them. That’s what we should do.

Alyssa: Yeah. Even for like working out, like carving out the time and sticking to your schedule and your routine to know that this is what I’m doing. There’s no non negotiable, like, I have to go at 430 or 930, or whatever the time.

Larry: Yeah, because we set aside time this morning, for the first time for us to go to the gym, and we didn’t.

Alyssa: We got wrapped up in whatever we were doing, and we could have just stopped. We didn’t. So tomorrow it is and you’re gonna hold us to that. We’ll report back next time we were Yeah, record. Um, well, I think that’s a good place to leave you. I want you to take the time today to break down everything that you’re doing that’s really toxic to hear self sabotaging behavior so that you can at least have the knowledge in the forefront of your mind to say, this is what I need to be working on. This is what I am sabotaging it with and how I’m sabotaging it. You know the why doesn’t matter? Honestly, it really doesn’t. Because you just need to think about like the solution.

Larry: Yeah. So what are you going to do to resolve that thing that you’re doing that you don’t want to be doing anymore? You know, is bad for you

Alyssa: just having that like mental clarity to say, You know what, the longer than I spend analyzing this, the more time it’s going to take and the less action is going to be had to fix the problem at hand.

Larry: Yeah, the sooner that you acknowledge it, the sooner you can work on fixing it.

Alyssa: Ya know yourself, well learn yourself, learn all your trades, and then you’ll be a better person for it. Thanks for tuning in to this one guys. We’ll see you on the next one. Bye bye