It’s no secret that parenting and work can be a tough balance. But when you factor in running a business as well, it can sometimes feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions. And unfortunately, there are always people who are quick to judgement, whether it’s because they think you’re not spending enough time with your kids or you’re not giving your all to your business. But the truth is, every situation is different. And as long as you’re doing what’s best for you and your family, that’s all that matters. So don’t let anyone else tell you how to live your life. You know what’s best for you and your loved ones. And as long as you keep that in mind, you’ll be just fine.
Today`s Goal: When it comes to judgement, trust your gut and go with your instinct. You know what you’re doing and you know why you’re doing it. And chances are, you’re going to do great.
Episode Takeaways:
05:07 – With all of that in mind, we still have the time like the quality time with them. At home, when we have dinner when we have bath time when we read books before bed, when we go to the park when we go for ice cream dates, like we make sure that we have quality time.
07:00 – We’ve got tools in place. We’ve got systems in place, we’ve got people to help us like, exactly, ultimately, like running businesses comes down to trying to systemize everything.
08:34 – People that act differently towards you when you start going on your own path it’s not the judgment, but it’s just the way that the temperature of the room changes.
13:50 – Everybody’s like, you have so much competence. It’s like, I really don’t, but I’m just pretending like I do. I’m acting as if because if I act as if it’s gonna happen and it’s gonna become a pattern, and I’m gonna feel that way more often and it’s just going to be many things.
RESOURCES
- The LYSST – Never miss an episode, blog, or exclusive deal for my favorite mom friends.
- Download the guide to starting your first business here!
- Get advice and other tools at www.lyssmorton.com/coaching
- HoneyBook– CRM system I use DAILY in my floral design business, totally helpful delegation!
CONNECT WITH LYSS
Follow me: @lyss.morton
Follow Garden in the Pines: @NJGardenInThePines
Follow Larry: @mortmotoshow
Check Out The Power Couple Show!
AFFILIATED LINKS
Episode Transcript
Alyssa: Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of The Making mommy moves show. So happy that you’re here with us again, we got Larry on the show again. And we’ve got a pretty fiery episode to talk about because it gets me heated. Yeah, like pour some gasoline. We’ve got a fun one about… I don’t know the right word to describe it. But like the judgment, perhaps, of starting your own business, but also being in the nine to five for 45 plus years of your life and questioning
Larry: someone else’s gumption to start their own life.
Alyssa: or like their daily routine – Like they’re not hanging out with their kids or seeing them because they have a business, but you’re also working 10 hours a day? Yeah, let’s unpack that one.
Okay, so I had an interaction on Facebook, because we just launched our new business, it’s called mama media. For those that haven’t seen it or heard it yet. We are a digital production company and a boutique (like one on one kind of experience kind of company). And what we do is we help other small business owners, mompreneurs, creatives tell their story by giving them more time to be able to do the things that they love, because we’re handling all the content creation, production and getting it out into the world. So that you’re able to grow your business, your brand, your life, and have more time to spend with your kids or your family or just do the stuff in your business that you actually enjoy doing. Like for me- floral design, instead of content creation, which I actually spend a lot of time doing. Hence, Mama media. But in the process, this is our fifth business that we have launched in the last 18 months. People are questioning the fact that we have two girls and a marriage and how are you managing all of these businesses and still
Larry: keeping everything going as far as relationship and with each other and our kids or families and
Alyssa: not just like a question. It’s like casting their judgments like, don’t forget that your kids are gonna grow up really quickly… Like, we know. This is why we’re working our asses off right now so that we can have the next like, if it takes us three more years to get to where we are Lailah will be five. And we’ll have another 13 years before she’s 18 to make incredible memories, like lasting memories, that she’ll be able to actually remember. Yeah, hold on to for the rest of her life. Know how much she’s loved and how hard her parents worked provide the life that she’ll have. Every morning, she comes into bed with us and we snuggle and then she goes to school and she does far better at school and she went home with me, because she’s learning new things every day, she’s able to come home with new language that is seriously incredible. Her vocabulary expense for the day.
Larry: She loves going to daycare, like even like tonight. She works at a dinner table. She was going ‘Mia Mia’, which is one of her friends at school, and like asking this for her friends even though she was home, so we know that she likes it there the teachers say that she’s like the ringleader of those kids. So God bless them for taking care of them
Alyssa: They always smile, like they run into there [every morning.] Yeah, we know that they’re in good hands.
Larry:Exactly.
Alyssa: And with all of that in mind, we still have the time like the quality time with them. At home, when we have dinner, when we have bath time, when we read books before bed, when we go to the park, when we go for ice cream dates, like we make sure that we have quality time because if we were with them 24/7 – Let me tell you, it would not be quality.
Larry: anyone that has a two year old knows that like sometimes you just want to [choke them] but you can’t because they’re kids
Alyssa: So with all that being said, the judgment that you’re casting on somebody else, by just assuming that they’re working around the clock and not having the time with their kids, you have no idea what they’re doing, you have no idea the routines that they have, you have no idea anything.
Larry: Exactly.
Alyssa: And let me tell you, it’s probably no different than whatever your schedule is, when you’re working nine to five, or that seven to five, or if you have an hour and a half commute each way. You’ve probably got less time with your kids than I do.
So with all of that being said in this episode, we want to give you some tips and some ideas about ways to actually learn from those kinds of experiences.
Larry: And it’s not to yell at a camera.
Alyssa: No. But it gets the point across pretty well. When you’re inspired by somebody, how are you asking questions to try to better yourself? So if you’re stuck in the nine to five or the seven to five or you have an hour commute each way and you’re gone 12 hours a day? Are you asking questions to the entrepreneur that are like ‘how did you get started? What are you doing right now? How to manage your life and your business to work life balance? How are you managing to stay up to date on social media?’
…We just had that question today from somebody inquiring about one of our businesses, they’re like, ‘how do you have such a good social media presence?’ It’s like, we’ve got tools in place, we’ve got systems in place, we’ve got people to help us. Ultimately, running businesses comes down to trying to systemize everything because the more efficient the process is, the better everything’s going to be. If you have people in place to help you, if you have the tools in place, there’s so many apps and systems out there right now.
Larry: It’s not like it used to be where you had to be a one man show to do everything. You can delegate almost everything to the point where you don’t have a whole lot to do. But it looks like you’re busy as hell with the amount of stuff you put out.
Alyssa: We have so much help, like not as much help as you think, but a lot of help – to the point that I don’t need to be doing editing for this video right now. Like, I don’t need to be editing the audio from podcasts, I don’t need to be posting the social media for this every day. Like there’s things in place – like all of the busy work that you are probably doing in your business – you can systematize and delegate.
Larry: Yes, and it saves time,
Alyssa: Like especially if you have a let’s say your hourly rate is $150 an hour, are you making $150 An hour posting social media, because [let’s face it] you’re going to get sucked into social media and you’re not going to actually be posting. You’re going to scroll on Tik Tok for an hour and a half, and then you’re going to be like, ‘Shit, I should have been doing this instead.’ You’re able to outsource that somebody else that is able to do it for a less hourly rate, you’re able to focus on growing your business. Mic drop.
Larry: Something in the same breath is that is people that act differently towards you when you start going on your own path?
Alyssa: Yes, there you go.
Larry: So it’s not the judgment, but it’s just the way that the temperature of the room changes. Yeah, when you are becoming a different version of yourself in a better way. And someone else can’t come to grips with that. And they treat you differently, and they cloak it as special treatment from your employer or that they get the short end of the stick because of whatever and they they cast a negative light on your own growth because they don’t have any of their own.
Alyssa: Yeah, that comes back. I think some of the limiting belief conversations we passed. But that’s that’s a good one right there. Yeah. You’ve been feeling that a lot.
Larry: Yeah, I’ve been feeling that a lot, too.
Alyssa: We’ve been talking about recently, like, we want more friends. Lately, we want more friends- but in an equal energy kind of friendship- like people with similar goals, with similar aspirations, with similar family dynamics. So that we’re able to relate to one another, inspire each other, ideally, build everybody.
Like, we want somebody a little bit further ahead of us, like as far as like a financial standpoint, and potentially, like status, like as far as like, maybe being published orput us in the room with, like some other people that we want to be in the room with, like, be able to make some introductions for us, like Chris & Lori Harder. All right, they’re just gonna squeeze that in, we want more friends.
Larry: But that also ties into friends that you have now that really don’t support you.
Alyssa: that’s big.
Larry: Yeah.
Alyssa: In a podcast recently, it was Chris and Lori Harder’s podcast, and they were talking about, the premise was like, leaving people behind. Like not dragging people with you when you’re moving forward. And they’ve mean literally dragging. So if people aren’t continually showing up, or you have to ask them to show up, or you have to really make a lot of effort to keep the relationship alive, that really shouldn’t be, they should be onboard, whatever ideas that you have, they should be supporting it in every way, shape, or form. And like excited for you guys. And if they’re not, then they’re probably not [meant to be in the life you’re creating].
Larry: And also they have to realize that if they know you well enough to know that you are putting in an extreme amount of effort for the businesses that you’re building or whatever your path might be. And then if you’re not always present, that it’s because you’re busy and you’re tired, and you’re trying to create something better. And if they don’t reach out, they don’t check on you every so often. Because you know, you might be a little too busy. Check on them first. Maybe they’re not one that’s supposed to be coming along with you. And if that still happens to be everybody that you know, then
Alyssa: it’s a lonely journey. But yeah, that’s why we’re looking for more friends. Yeah, yeah, that’s that’s a heavy one. I hope that you guys aren’t experiencing that. But if you are, give us a call.
Larry: DMS are open. Yeah. It’s definitely best to try and ignore as much as you can of the naysayers, and I know I’ve said that before that the people that are casting doubt, even if it’s not in a direct way, it just in the way they treat you or the way that they might act around you- just ignore it and keep doing your thing and keep growing because you’re trying to adjust your life to accommodate someone else’s feelings and someone else’s view on you. They already have said,
Alyssa: we’re gonna change. Yeah, they already have that opinion. They’re not going to change their opinion by anything different that you do.
Larry: So the way I see it is like when I get dressed in the morning, I’m not trying to impress anybody. So if anybody says, Why are you wearing crocs? It’s like, because I wanted to. I didn’t get dressed to make you feel good this morning. That’s that’s the way that I see it.
Alyssa: I need to get better at that. I still am a people pleaser is actually the podcast that recorded earlier this morning was people pleasing. Because it’s a problem that I have.
Larry: Yeah, I’m a total opposite. I don’t I don’t care. Yeah, anyone else’s opinion of me is invalid.
Alyssa: It’s getting better. Like I’m starting to ignore the feelings of the people pleasing inside of me. And I’m starting to just do it anyway. Even though I still like feel that way. Especially on, you know, like Instagram and Facebook and stuff. Like, everybody’s like ‘you have so much confidence’. It’s like, ‘I really don’t, but I’m just pretending like I do. I’m acting as if because if I act as if it’s gonna happen and it’s gonna become a pattern, and I’m gonna feel that way more often and it’s just going to be my thing.’ So here I am.
Larry: And you’d be surprised how common that is for a lot of people you see on YouTube, podcasts, and social media. You hear it a lot that they like, they don’t just wake up and sweat confidence. Like it’s a it’s an acquired skill to be confident. I’m not. You’re not. Here we are- sitting behind our cannon.
Alyssa: Yeah. And not even like all dolled up like, yeah, that would probably make me feel more confident if I did. But yeah, literally, like 10 o’clock at night. This was the only time that we had to sit together to record some podcasts together.
Because – got to circle back to that- This is when we have the time to do it. So here we are. I’ve got my hair in a ponytail. I look ridiculous and we’re just doing it anyway. So we want to leave it at that just do the fucking thing. Just do it anyway. Ignore whoever is trying to cast their limiting beliefs, their doubts, their pressure, their judgments on you, because you know what you’re doing, you know the goals that you’re working toward. You know why you’re doing them, you know everything; they know absolutely nothing. You’re going to do great.
Larry: So when you get up in the morning, put on your Crocs and wear them proudly.
Alyssa: We leave you with that. Have a happy day everybody. See in the next one. Bye.
comments +