Having a difficult conversation is never easy, but there are ways to make it less daunting and more productive. First, it’s important to be clear about what the conversation is about. What are the goals? What needs to be accomplished? Once you have a clear understanding of the purpose of the conversation, you can start to prepare.
Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be a negative experience. In fact, conflict can be an opportunity to strengthen your bond with another person. The key is to approach the situation in a constructive way. One of the most important things you can do is to listen to the other person’s perspective. Try to understand where they are coming from, and don’t be emotionally attached to the outcome. It’s also important to keep the conversation professional and focused on the issue at hand. avoid getting personal or attacking the other person’s character. If you can do this, you’ll be well on your way to resolving the conflict in a positive way.
Today`s Goal: It is important to be clear about what you want to say before the conversation. You should also make sure to listen to the other person and try to understand their perspective. It can be helpful to stay calm and avoid getting defensive. If the conversation starts to become heated, you can agree to take a break and come back to it later.
01:21 – It’s important to have these discussions and to really make sure that there’s no nothing up in the air that everything’s understood, and that these conversations are had in a professional way, and a tactful way not defensively.
03:34 – It’s better to have the conversation than to not have it at all, especially in life or business.
04:47 – Keep it personal, keep it professional, try not to get too emotionally attached to it, even though I know that can be hard sometimes.
05:40 – Always come from a solution standpoint, and not a problem standpoint, like you want to really come to a resolution.
07:08 – You need to listen, like actually turn on the listening ears and listen to what they’re saying, Don’t immediately jump at the ball to have a response to what they’re saying.
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Transcript of Episode 21: Tips for Having Difficult Conversations
Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of The Making Mommy Move show. I’m so happy and grateful that you’re here with us for another episode. Today, we’re going to be talking about having hard conversations, because I know that we all have to do this, whether it’s with our spouses, with our kids, with our team members, or staff members, potential business partners, anything, it’s important to have these discussions and to really make sure that there’s no nothing up in the air that everything’s understood, and that these conversations are had in a professional way, and a tactful way. Not defensively, I know that we all try to not to do that but sometimes our emotions can get the best of us, especially when talking to our kids or husband or wife or whoever you’re trying to talk to. So I know that like we’ve all had to go through this and sometimes the fight or flight instinct can kick in, whether that’s you get defensive right away, when somebody tries to approach you with the topic that, you know, immediately like inside, you clench up, and you just feel like you have to fight back, or you flight and you run away nd in that situation, you’re avoiding the conversation and that’s not going to be good for anybody. and then the other.
Obviously, the third one is that you freeze and you just don’t say anything at all and I know that I do that a lot. Like I go through my head, and I have this conversation over and over again and it’s always like, Oh, my gosh, I should have said this. I should have said that. Why didn’t I ask that question and you’re either bringing up the conversation again, or you’re just got all these things running through your head. So in today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about having these hard conversations and I want to give you some of my favorite like key tips to keep in mind when you’re going into having a hard conversation so that hopefully you don’t have these kinds of like regretful feelings of like, oh, man, I should have said this and that or the defensive reaction. So obviously, like, the first thing is that it’s better to have the conversation and to not have it at all, especially in life for business
I know that with my husband and I will talk about this more like on the show in the future. But we have hard conversations every day. Actually, like just recently, we really came to the decision that we’re going to be kind of flip flopping and make our current businesses. So what I mean by that is Larry’s going to have his turn at trying to make something happen with his businesses, he’s going to leave his job full time, and I’m going to be the breadwinner. So that means either freelancing with other florists to help make ends meet, trying our damnedest to make our businesses replace his income so that we can live off of it. So that he has the opportunity to really make something out of his business and his life and accomplish his goals. It’s been amazing, having the security of him at work, but now I know that it’s my turn to flip flop, you know, sometimes that happens. So back to the hard conversation of having that we both went into it with an open mind. We weren’t defensive, it’s just we never yell at each other, we never call each other names and I think that that’s important in any conversation that you’re having to just treat them like a human being and then keep it personal keep it professional, keep it try not to get too emotionally attached to it, even though I know that can be hard sometimes, and just have the conversation. You know, even if you don’t have the right words today, even if you don’t have the right words to say, something that I like to do is I pre frame it with like,
I really don’t know how to say this. And I don’t want it to come off the wrong way but this is when I’m feeling or this is what I’m thinking, let me know how, how it takes basically and it never ever comes off like Oh, you shouldn’t have said that. It’s always like, oh, okay, I see where you’re coming from and that’s the kind of conversation that you should be having with either your spouse, your employees, your staff members. It’s never like, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. This is just what I’m noticing about your what’s been going on at work. There’s something going on, how can we make this better always come from it from a solution standpoint, and not a problem standpoint, like that, you want to really come to a resolution. So you could use this evening your business, if you have to potentially, like let somebody go if they’re not a good mutual fit. You could say I’m sorry, this is what I’m noticing
this is what my needs are, but it’s really not working out how can I help you transition or to get you to a place that you need to be something like that come from a resolution kind of standpoint. So something else to keep in mind when you’re having these tough conversations was to never ever insult them. Never take it from an argumentative standpoint. I know I had touched on this before, but obviously don’t insult them. Don’t be too aggressive in your approach. Try to keep it really conversational and not like stern and argumentative and, you know, that’s just going to come at it from like an I perspective Instead of a you perspective. Something like this is how I am feeling this is what I’m experiencing. This is what I’m noticing by saying you didn’t do this then it automatically causes that defense mechanism. So even in my marriage, if it’s like, you didn’t do the dishes, or you didn’t take out the garbage, or you really meant dropped the ball here, like, I would really appreciate it, if you could do this for me, can you do me a favor and do this next time, and they’re gonna have a lot better reaction to that. So finally, the last piece of having difficult conversations, and this is probably the hardest piece is you need to listen, like actually turn on the listening ears and listen to what they’re saying, Don’t immediately jump at the ball to have a response to what they’re saying, I do that a lot. I cut Larry off all the time and I noticed that and I need to, I’m making an effort to fix that. So he’ll be having a conversation with me and he’ll be trying to say something, and I immediately am trying to finish the sentence and it’s like, I don’t know what he’s saying. Sometimes I do, but most of the time, he’s going to do something completely different than what I was thinking. So I just need to shut my mouth
and listen, that same thing can happen in life and business and talking to your other family members, or your kids, or your business partners, whoever you’re working with, whoever you’re trying to talk to, and have a conversation with. Listen to what they’re saying, truly, listen, ask appropriate questions, do so active listening, where you’re repeating back to them what they’re saying and ultimately, you’ll be able to come to a resolution, or answer whatever question that you were having, so that your business in your life can go up there. So I don’t know if this like is relatable, but I know that sometimes people feel like they have to win a conversation and ultimately, when you go into a conversation that way, nobody ever wins. It either ends in an argument or regret or disappointment or some sort of negative emotion and I think it’s really important to go into the conversation with a resolution bogus that it’s just a conversation. Nobody has to win, it’s not an argument. And when you go into it this way, then there’s no more drama than suits from it. Because drama never solves anything.
So I hope that this was a helpful topic for you guys. I like to keep these shorts, but you have time to fit in the inspiration. Even when you’re on the go in the car, on your way to work or trying to wrangle up the kids, you have like five minutes to yourself so that you can swap a load of laundry or get some new time. You can use this anywhere. Use it in your conversations with your spouses, with your kids with your work relationships with your employees with their business partners. When you’re trying to leave a position at work or trying to get on board with your spouse and their ideas. It can be really helpful to have these difficult conversations. Well, that’s all for today. Thank you for tuning into the show. As always, if you could tag me and share a screenshot of this episode with your favorite takeaway, how you’re going to use it in your life today. I love it. I love to share it and I’d love to potentially have you on the show and talk about it. All right. Have a great rest of your day everybody. Bye for now.